How to share pregnancy with a friend who can’t conceive

Reveal your pregnancy to a friend that can't conceive

Pregnancy presents a whole host of new challenges and experiences for you to manage and arguably one of the toughest circumstances to navigate can be knowing how to sensitively reveal your pregnancy to a friend that can't conceive.

Whilst you enter one of the most exciting periods of your life, for them it will undoubtedly be a stark reminder of their own conception struggles, and so it's important that you're as empathetic as possible when sharing the news.

In this excerpt from Mama You Got This, an honest guide to pregnancy, expert Melissa Schweiger Kleinman explores the difficulties that this conversation can present and the best way to reveal your pregnancy to a friend that can't conceive.

How do I tell my bestie who's been trying to get pregnant that I'm expecting?

While it can take some couples months or even years of trying, it can seem like others become pregnant just by sneezing. Ok, sneezing and being naked with their partner on top of them. I have to admit I was one of the latter. For my husband (fiancé at the time), the first time was literally a charm. Not many people plan a pregnancy five months before their wedding.

So now that you’re happily pregnant and ready to share the news, how do you break it to your friends who are dealing with infertility? Carefully and thoughtfully are the key words here.

The best way to tell her:

• Share the news tactfully.

Make sure to tell your friend first before making an announcement on social media. When you do tell her, say it without making such a huge deal about it. More like: “I’ve got some news to share.” Less like: “Guess what?? I’m pregnant!” Don’t be disappointed if she doesn’t share your level of enthusiasm. This is going to hurt her no matter what. Just accept it and try to understand how she feels.

• Don’t vent about your morning sickness or any other pregnancy downers to her.

Regardless of how miserable you’re feeling, she’ll wish it was her going through those un-fun stages. Instead, complain all you want to your partner, your mother or your sister who already has two kids.

• When you do speak to her or spend time with her, don’t let your pregnancy become the focus.

Try to deflect attention away from your bump and instead veer the conversation to any other subject: your annoying mother-in-law, her new job or your other friends latest blind date.

• Don’t feel weird about including her in certain things.

She’s still your close friend and it would be strange not to have her involved in some of the more special and celebratory parts of having a baby, such as your baby shower or choosing a name.

Plus, get the rest of the guide delivered directly to your inbox each week. From skincare to sex, telling your boss you’re pregnant to maternal mental health, Mama You’ve Got This will help you arm yourself with the knowledge you need to feel confident in all aspects of your pregnancy.

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